The Voice of Truth

If you know me, you know my taste in music is very eclectic. My mother, and entire family really, is very musical and their influence left a very broad musical palette. Raised on Waylon and Willie and The Oak Ridge Boys, and being a child of the eighties, the genres that I listen to have always surprised many. Even if you look in my car today, you will see everything from Eminem to Big n Rich, from Third Day to Led Zeppelin, and of course lots and lots of Cash. Tonights title is by Casting Crowns, and the song bears so much meaning to me.

Never being shy on these pages to admit my mistakes and faults, the road I have traveled has been been a bit rocky the last two years. Not the most gut wrenching story you have ever heard, nor I, but enough to make me examine where I have been and where I am going. There have been milestones along the way, moments of victory, defeat, and clarification. I am definitely better off for having been through it.

The song says "Oh what I would do to have the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant, with just a sling and a stone." Those words have been great comfort to me along the way. Finding the strength to step out of what I have always done and trying to make a change was something I fought and fought. I have always had this belief that I am right. All the time. What I think and believe and feel is what everyone else should think and believe and feel. And in my lifetime, I have often been vindicated even when initially proven wrong. So my full head of steam kept me thinking that my way was the right way.

Along with my self righteousness, I have had a tendency in my personal relationships to look for that perfect thing. That Romeo and Juliet, Johnny and June, Mom and Mike kind of romance and love that very few have ever found. It was a picture painted in my head, with the only missing image being that partner for me. That one woman who fit perfectly into that space. It is out of that stubbornness, combined with the above mentioned arrogance, that led me down the road to where I am now. They facilitated the change of everything I had ever believed and put me in a much better place than I have ever been.

I have never told the story of how that journey started. There are many reasons for that, including some moments that I am not especially proud of. There may come a day when I do publish some of those private thoughts and memories, but it won't be tonight nor anytime in the near future. But there is a reason why a small piece of it finds its way to the blog tonight.

Even though I am standing on solid ground now, a few people have expressed concerns to me about someone I have crossed paths with recently. Whether those concerns are viable is still something left to be seen. However, as I stated a few nights ago, I am smart enough to change course if they become reality. I shared a particular moment with someone yesterday, the exact moment in fact, that I realized it was time to make a change and put it behind me. The moment of truth if you will. And recognizing that truth, while difficult, proved to me that I indeed know how to keep the blinders off.

"But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me. Reminding me of all the times I have tried before and failed. The giant keeps on telling me, time and time again, boy you'll never win. You'll never win. But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story."

That may happen, as I do not know if everything will change again today, tomorrow, in a week, month, or a year. I will face many moments of adversity again, and may even look back on this very post and say how much I have changed. But for now, I am quite content on my current course. If I ever tell the story, of both then and now, I think you will be surprised how at peace I really am. For those who know it already, just know that I am happy being me 2.0. So no worries

The Voice of Truth. Maybe not the same meaning as the song. But fits just right for me. Good Night All..................

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