Transitions

As I sit tonight, writing this blog, I look back over the past 18 months at what a wild ride it has been. April 1 2009, I packed my things and left the woman who had been in my everyday life for 13 years. Along the way we had three tremendous children, yet I knew as I left that what I was doing was in the best interests of them. Now, a year and a half later, on a road full of whiskey, women, and monumental mistakes, I will go to bed tonight as someones ex husband for the first time. My divorce being final at 9:45 this morning, I feel as though a tremendous weight has been taken from my life. My plan was to meet friends and get piss drunk tonight in celebration of this long awaited event. Yet as the day progressed, I instead decided to have a quiet evening with the boys at home, watching Ironman 2. Seemed like a much more fitting tribute to the end of this era in my life. As I wake up tomorrow, it will truly be the first day of the rest of my life. And I would be lying if I didn't say it seems a little daunting now. Silly, huh? I wanted this. I am happy to be done. But now there is no one to blame but myself when things go wrong. No more fall back person to help take care of me. Nope, its now big boy time. And with no prospects for a lasting relationship anywhere on the horizon, I face tomorrow with a mix of hesitancy, eagerness, and a quiet contentment that this is where I am supposed to be right now. Alone, trying to figure out what path I go down, before asking anyone to join me along the way.

In the rearview mirror are a lot of people who may not hold me in high regard. Angels family, the dog rescuer, the girl from Seattle, the nurse, and the artist from Alaska just to name a few. To each I say thank you, I took something from all of you. You are a part of who I am and have made me stronger. I hope I did the same for you.

And to Angel, it was not all bad over 15 years. You are a good person at heart, and I wouldn't ask anyone else to be the mother of the boys. As I answered yes when they asked if we were incompatible, I knew that was the right answer. But it doesn't mean I do not care about what happens to you nor does it mean I believe we always were. I thank you for the friendship we now share, and for the partnership in raising our children.

I know been awhile since I blogged. Bucket List item number one. I am going to be going on stage at a comedy club for amatuer night. Bethany and a couple others will be joining me. I will put the date, time, and location here and on Facebook. I hope you all will come.

I am going to turn in now, with the thought tunning in my head.....what's next?...

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