Blessing in disguise

Have I mentioned I don't like doctors? Nothing personal if there are any MD's in the reading group. But I have never been a fan. Sure when I was younger and my mom was working for Dr. Mary Lee or Dr. Hontanosis I went regularly and they were always very nice to me. Even got a sucker or two when I left, which I was sure happened because my Mommy was their "boss". But in the spring of 1990 all of that changed.

It had been a pretty good year. Made the Chorale. Was due to play summer baseball. The girl I had been chasing told me at the prom she wanted to go steady (a legendary prom I must say). Not bad for a 17 year old looking foward to senior year. Until my mom noticed a change in my appearance. She told me one day it looked like my left eye was coming out of my head. I told her she was crazy but my mom, the medical professional and resident worrier in the family, insisted I see a doctor. The next day we were in Westerville and were told there was a slight abnormality with my eye check and that we should schedule a cat scan in a few weeks. Of course for mom, that just wasn't good enough. We left that office and went to see another doctor, one that my mom was working for at that time. I was very frustrated with her at this point, feeling like she was over blowing the whole thing. I didn't even know what she was talking about, I hadn't noticed any difference in the way I looked. And she was keeping me from all of those world changing things a seventeen year old must tend to. Looking back now I am so grateful for her persitence that day.

The second doctor saw the issue with my left eye, and reacted very differently from the first. A cat scan was in order, but she wasn't sure I had a few weeks to wait. She made some calls and talked with my mom and before I knew what was happening, I had a next day appointment with one of the world's best pediatric neurosurgeons, Dr. Ed Kosnik of Children's Hospital. Ironically, this is the same neuro that my son Tanner sees to this day. But in 1990, he sent us off for the tests, then reviewed them with my parents and I. The results were terrifying. I had a large tumor behind my eye, pressing against my brain. It would need to be removed as soon as possible. The surgery was risky and the procedures were just past experimental, but not having it meant not surviving. So on May 21, 1990, I had brain surgery to remove this Osteo Ostoma mass from behind my left eye. The surgery lasted 15 hours, with the doctor proclaiming I had the thickest skull he ever had to get through. When he was done my head was swollen to three times its normal size and I couldn't lift it off the pillow. But I had made it through, something I wasn't sure was going to happen when I went in. The next few weeks were spent at the hospital recovering, with my Mom, Dad, and Brad there everyday. He was a true source of strength, bringing me food from the outside world when I was well enough to eat and didn't want the hospital's pineapple upside down beans or spam soup. He also realized I wasn't sleeping when my parents spent the night. I love them both dearly, but they snored so loudly it kept me wide awake. So he offered to stay, "to help them out". After I returned home, still badly swollen and not allowed to do much, people came by to visit. Even my arch nemesis, Bethany LeMaster brought a card. Regular readers know her now as Miss B, my BFFL. I went on to perform in the chorale, coach summer ball (since my ball playing days were over) and never had any adverse affects from this very scary experience. Although I was stubborn and did not want to go, my mother forced me and I am here because of that.

Bear with me now..

Because y'all might think I am just a little crazy....

Last summer I had a slight heart incident. I went to the ER and subsequently to a cardiologist. I was prescribed blood pressure medicine which I took religiously for about 3 weeks. At that point I was feeling much better and never took it again. A friend of mine, purple, who is a nurse, has been bugging me about getting checked back out and making sure I am on the right path for a long life. We have actually argued about it several times. Imagine that, me arguing with a medical professional about going to the doctor. But a few weeks ago, I felt like someone was really trying to tell me something or get my attention. I won't go into the details of what I think or feel or believe, but it was almost as if my Mom was joining that band wagon yet again. As you know we lost her in 2009. What you may not know is that the cancer that took her from us was detected far too late to be treated. At any rate, I blew these signs off again, knowing that I couldn't take the time off. Then I got in the first accident, the first one of my life. Rear ended. Totally a freak thing. I went to the doctor and got checked out. Little high blood pressure. Oh well, still have work to do right?

As I wrote about in my last blog, I was in a serious accident last Friday. My second of my life and second in two weeks. Also was not my fault. But this time I had to go to the Emergency Department at Grant Hospital here in Columbus. They ran tests. They did CT scans. All the while purple was in the room, as this is the very hospital she works in. They took my blood pressure. Stroke levels. Both the doctor and my nurse friend were all over me. I promised each of them I would follow up with my doctor. But then I got a true shock. A moment when I realized that yeah, now we have to follow up on this.

When they did the CT scan they found a 2 centimeter abnormality behind my left eye. Yes that left eye. I have to have another CT scan and other tests to determine what that is. It could be scar tissue. It could be more. I feel like a scared 17 year old all over again.

The point of this blog is simply this. I am stubborn. When I was younger I fought my mom about going to the doctor to be checked, which ultimately saved my life. Now, 20 years later, I feel like someone has been trying to tell me to follow up and see what is really going on. From the heart issue I did not follow through on, to purple being back in my life and pushing me on this, to the fender bender and, finally, the accident that led to the tests. Maybe it wasn't a whisper. Maybe someone was screaming at me and I just didn't want to hear it. After all, I don't like doctors. But I know it's time to get past that fear. Thurday's appointment should be interesting.

Told y'all you would think I am crazy..............

Good Night Everyone............


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