Now or Never

Is it now or never? No, but it is probably now or at some vague, distant point in the future. They say that now is the only time we ever have - yet they are being slightly disingenuous when they say this. We have plenty of nows. We cannot go back into the past and reclaim any of the nows we had then - but we will yet come to know future nows - and we should never say 'never'. That said, now is always a good time to do what needs doing. And really, truly, you know what needs doing now! Now's as good a moment as any!

The preceding was my horoscope today. I have never been one who followed the zodiac signs very closely, though I know I am a Pisces to the core no matter how many new signs they come up with. But this guy, Cainer, seems to hit the nail on the head more often than not. The only way his daily outlooks could be more geared to me is if they started with "Michael". And this one was no different.

Without going into too much detail, I was faced today with a tough choice. Actually more than one. The decisions I make out of this will affect every part of my life, from work to my boys, from personal relationships to goals and aspirations. A lot of thought and reflection will be required before I ultimately decide which direction I should go. I could stay the course where I am am hope things turn out for the best. I could gamble and change things and see if the pay off is worth the leap. Or I could blow it all up completely and start fresh, the thought of which both scares and excites me.

In the past year I have worked to get myself to a better place than ever before. The road has not been easy, and I dread the thought of more bumps and potholes along the way. I have been quietly content for a little while now, and have found a lot of peace in that. Sure there are moments of uproar as with any real life situation, but overall I like what I have begun to establish. Now, with the things revealed to me today, I may be forced to abandon it all too soon.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend. We debated the "everything happens for a reason" theory. Once a strong subscriber to this way of thinking, I have found myself questioning it. Some things, I said, are really left to chance. I cited examples to back up my thought process, and we agreed to disagree. After today, though, I have to wonder if maybe I was wrong. I have long stated how much I enjoy new experiences. 

As I sit here tonight I can say that when I lay the options out in front of me, there is one that I am leaning towards. And it may not make the most sense, nor will it make a lot of people happy. But is this my now or never moment? If I truly want to change course, is now the time. And if not now, then when? That is the million dollar question, and one that I cannot get out of my head.

I apologize if tonight's post seems a little confusing. There will be more revealed about the turns my life is about to take in upcoming blogs I am sure. But for tonight, my mind is once again on overload as I figure out what the next step should be.

Good Night All............


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