On top of the mountain, no where to go but up
I feel like I am on the precipice of something great. A meeting tonight and another next week will, if things go as planned, open the door to a new life for myself, my family, and my best friend Ralph. As stated in the last post, I am anxious, excited, and scared to death. But the people I am sitting down with will never know. It could be nothing. But it also has a very good chance of being something. And with life being where it is today, I have faith that it will be more than a thanks but no thanks when the moment of truth arrives.
I was talking to a girl in the office today. We were speaking about how things can change so rapidly, and my life is a testament to that. I stand on solid ground now. I have a beautiful home, amazing wife, and my three sons call my home their home full time. But not long ago, I was looking up at a mountain from the bottom, trying to discover the path to the top and finding that the first step was next to impossible to take.
At that time life felt like a bad movie stuck on repeat. I traveled for work, which I enjoyed. But it was the time in Columbus I grew to hate. Home for me was a two bedroom apartment, with three boys crammed into one room, empty beer bottles on every flat surface and each day a little more depressing than the last. I posted blogs, spent a lot of time one the road chasing an empty dream, and went to bed early on the nights when I was home alone, of which there were many. I was falling in bed bored and depressed, rather than exhausted from an exciting day. I really didn't see a way out and at some point stopped looking for one. I figured if this was all there was meant to be, then so be it.
When I met Tiffany I wasn't looking for anyone. I was ready for life to happen to me, no matter what that meant. I clung to some ideas formed in my head about what should or probably would happen, but I never had a thought of pushing the issue. Que sera sera.
But since I met her everyday has been an improvement. In some small way, my life improves every time we have a date night, take the kids to the thrift store, have an argument, or do any of the other million little things we love to do together. Life is good, and I tell you all that every time I close a post.
Recently someone said to me that if this whole thing really does happen, if the pipe dream becomes a reality, I will be on top of the mountain. And that struck me. As I thought about that statement, and the great things that could come of it, I came to the conclusion that I am already on top of the mountain. She and I have climbed it together, day by day. If this happens, it will just be the icing on the cake. Will our lives benefit from this? Sure. But our life, not so much. We already built that. And I cannot imagine it being much better than it is now.
I am so grateful that God chose to put her in my life, and that he shows me everyday that she is the person he hand picked to share this journey with me. I wanted to share a piece of an personal ad I wrote about 3 and a half years ago where I described what I was looking for. Apparently, the man upstairs must have read it because as it turns out, I was describing her:
"She should like to do anything, be very spontaneous if you will. One night we may go to the Arena District and party like rock stars, then the next curl up to a movie at home on the couch. She should be able to become my best friend, strongest adviser, sharpest critic, most intense lover, and my rock. She would appreciate the little things that make a relationship great." - Me, circa December 2009
Hmm. Isn't that funny. All of that and red hair to boot. He really does answer prayers lol.
When I wrote that, I did not know who I was talking about. I met a lot of people from the time I wrote that until she walked into that bar. But when it was time for us to meet, it happened.
A lot of time has passed from the moment Ralph and I started talking about our plan. A lot of things have happened since, and a lot has fallen into place. Just as I had to wait for the right time for her to walk into my life, just as I had to wait for the right time for my guys to come live with me, we have to wait for the right time for this to take off. But I knew when she walked into the bar she was that girl. I knew when I signed the first custody agreement that they would come stay with me. And I feel like now is the time for this. It fits, it makes sense, and I am ready.
One thing for sure. As everyone else rolls there eyes and doubts this will happen for me, my red headed sweetheart believes in my. And that is why, on this day # 76, it is great to be me!
Have a great weekend everyone!