Wake me up when September ends

It always amazes me how the whole world can turn on a dime. One moment you can be riding the wave, the next you are drowning. The ups and downs, twists and curves of life often leave us exasperated, throwing our hands up in the air and screaming stop the world, I want off.

The last weekend of August marked a much anticipated trip to Mohican. Bethany and I had planned this for so long, our annual camping expedition but with her Doug and my Shaun by our sides, the forst time either had come. We canoed down the Mohican river, made camp food, drank too much, and had an awesome time. It was just an amazing weekend and we didn't want it to end. Little did either of us know how everything was about to change.

Last Saturday, the fourth, I was packing the boys into the car to head to our family reunion in Gallipolis. The phone rang and Bobbi's voice on the other end was one of panic and alarm. She has been going through something for over a year, and that day had gotten very bad news. Her situation is about to get worse. I have always promised her that if she called and needed me, I would be there. So we headed for Pittsburgh instead. A day of talking with her seemed to help her regain focus, and always sooths me. Bobbi is like a sister and we always know how to lift each other when needed. Late in the evening, we sat talking as we always do when my phone again rang.

I know Bethany. I can tell when her pitch or tone of voice changes that something is bothering her. So the hysteria in her voice as she asked how close I was to her told me I needed to leave Pittsburgh and get to her. You have all read the last blog. You know why she needed me there. We spent most the week together. She gained clarity, then lost it. She tried to find small clues to figure out why or what to do next. She tried to find duct tape to fix her broken heart. Even today, she is still devastated. And though I try to help, there is no magic wand or elixir.

I told her Friday I could not be with her. Shaun told me that she was coming down and I was excited to see her. I texted her that evening to see if she was on her way. The response: "Actually, I am moving to Mississippi Monday". Stung and a little hurt, I said goodbye to her. She was the first woman I had no guilt laying next to since purple walked out of my life 7 months ago. She was the first one to make me think I am not broken. That it really could happen again. Now she's gone. And while I wouldn't classify it as a heartbreak, I would ask if anyone has ever heard of a straw that breaks a camel's back?

I went to see another old friend that night. I needed a little clarity myself, and who better to advise me than someone who also has walked out of my life before. She gave me sound words of wisdom, and we sat up all nigjht discussing other issues we both have going on. It was what I needed to recharge, understand that I really don't have it that bad, and be able to go be a friend to Bethany. Her hurt is far greater than mine, and I vowed to her to stand by her through this whole thing.

September so far has sucked, eh?

Next blog is gonna be about some my bucket list. A few things I need to start accomplishing. Look for it tomorrow, it will be a very interactive post.

Good night everyone


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