Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

Sorry I wasn't there yesterday. I really would have loved to make the trip out to see you as I have said I always would on January 5th. But this is the second year in a row I have not been able to do that. Last year it was a hectic schedule at a new job that kept me away. This year, though, is a little different.

I could not make it because John-Michael had a wrestling tournament. That's right, a wrestling tournament! He is pretty good too. If it wasn't for a horrible call by one ref, he would have been in the finals. He played football in the fall, and did well too. You would be so proud. He has gone from being moody and immature to being a very well spoken, respectful young man. And he is as tall as I am, it's crazy. Another 3 months and I suspect he is going to be looking down on his Dad. We have come a long way since Nurse Ava let you hold him 5 minutes after he was born, you know?

Ben asked about you the other day. Actually, he was talking about a party we had at your house when you still lived in Gahanna. He has become quite an artist, and is able to draw almost anything he wants free hand. You know me, I know very little about art. But it is his passion. His most recent IEP meeting says he no longer has any behavioral goals to meet, because (as the principal said) he is one of the most polite and helpful kids in school. He is so funny and keeps me smiling all the time.

And then there is Tan man. His love of numbers will never change. I think he knows every stat of every NFL player to ever put on a uniform. I told him if he does that with baseball, Poppa might cry lol. He watches the weather and listens to forecasts and even comes up with his own. During his last (and by last I mean final) IEP, his team determined he no longer needs therapy of any kind, and has caught completely up developmentally. It was amazing news, especially after where he started. Remember them telling us he would never walk or talk? Um yeah.

On another topic, the wedding is in two months. I am so grateful to have found Tiffany and cannot wait to start our marriage. Her showing up in my life reminds me of how you and Mike found each other. I hope our marriage follows the example that you two have set for us. I believe it will. And I know you will be there that day. Just like I feel you all around me every day.

I feel you around me when I am with my guys. They love you so much and miss you, as I am sure you do them. John-Michael told me that while this Thanksgiving was good, he misses going to the ocean house with you and Poppa.

I felt you around me as I wrestled with the decision to bring the boys home full time. It was tough to determine where the line was between their best interests and my selfishness. In the end, the sacrifices you made for us kids helped with my decision. Not because I didn't want them. I would do anything for the guys. But for the opposite reason. I grew up knowing at least one of my parents would have done anything for me (two after Mike came along). And I wanted John-Michael, Ben, and Tanner to know at least one of theirs would do the same. They may not see it now. But they will when they grow up, as I did when I got older.

I feel you all around me when I talk to Ang. She is taking my wedding by the horns and helping us to get things together so much. A role you would take on if you could I am sure. She is such a great Mom and is the glue that keeps us together. She is, as always, the ultimate sister and I wish I could be more like her because she is so much like you. I am so proud of her.

I feel you all around me every time I sit down to write this blog. Every post is a tribute to you, whether it is about you or not. This is the part of your legacy I am most grateful for, the ability to set my thoughts into words and share them with others. You are a gifted writer and someday I hope we can share what you and I both have written with the world. But for now, I will simply say thank you

At any rate, again I am sorry for not making it yesterday. I am sure I will see you soon. But I know you understand. I miss you so much and think of you everyday. We all do.

Your Son,


Day # 643 and, though I miss my Mommy, it is good to be me..............


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